Jul 18, 2012

Homeward Bound? Cramér–Rao Bound!

For a little light relief, Peter Kootsookos wrote this version in honor of C. R. Rao. It’s adapted from the Simon and Garfunkel song “Homeward Bound”

Cramér-Rao Bound

I’m sittin’ at the Sun workstation
Got a signal for elimination, mm-hm
If I can we’ll all clap hands
Rick ‘n’ Grant will do handstands
And every noise is neatly canned
’Cos it’s been sent out-of-bound

Cramér–Rao bound, I wish I knew
Cramér–Rao bound
Bound, where my brain is achin’, Bound, where my stats are failin’
Bound, where my signal’s waitin’ noiselessly for me

This signal’s an endless stream
Of Poisson noise and grindin’ teeth, mm-hm
And each spike looks the same to me
Can it be noise or is it speech?
And every time I think I see
It turns out that it is spike-free!
Cramér–Rao bound, I wish I knew
Cramér–Rao bound
Bound, where my brain is achin’, Bound, where my stats are failin’
Bound, where my signal’s waitin’ noiselessly for me
Tonight I’ll run my scripts again
I’ll play the tape until it ends, mm-hm
But all my runs come back to me
With dubious veracity
Like E.Bob with senility
I need someone to remind me
Cramér–Rao bound, I wish I knew
Cramér–Rao bound
Bound, where my brain is achin’, Bound, where my stats are failin’
Bound, where my signal’s waitin’ noiselessly for me
Noiselessly for me

 

(With abject apologies to Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel)

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1 Comment

  • Woo-hoo! Fame! 🙂

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